Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Next season on Survivor.

Reality therapy for rogue capitalists.

Having to work a full 60 hour week would probably be a new experience for them.

Three businessmen and three businesswomen will be dropped in an elementary school classroom for 1 school year. Each business person will be provided with a copy of his/her school district's curriculum, and a class of 20-25 students.


Each class will have a minimum of five learning-disabled children, three with A.D.H.D., one gifted child, and two who speak limited English. Three students will be labeled with severe behavior problems.


Each business person must complete lesson plans at least 3 days in advance, with annotations for curriculum objectives and modify, organize, or create their materials accordingly. They will be required to teach students, handle misconduct, implement technology, document attendance, write referrals, correct homework, make bulletin boards, compute grades, complete report cards, document benchmarks, communicate with parents, and arrange parent conferences. They must also stand in their doorway between class changes to monitor the hallways.

In addition, they will complete fire drills, tornado drills, and [Code Red] drills for shooting attacks each month.

They must attend workshops, faculty meetings, and attend curriculum development meetings. They must also tutor students who are behind and strive to get their 2 non-English speaking children proficient enough to take the SOLS tests. If they are sick or having a bad day they must not let it show.

Each day they must incorporate reading, writing, math, science, and social studies into the program. They must maintain discipline and provide an educationally stimulating environment to motivate students at all times. If all students do not wish to cooperate, work, or learn, the teacher will be held responsible.

The business people will only have access to the public golf course on the weekends, but with their new salary, they will not be able to afford it. There will be no access to vendors who want to take them out to lunch, and lunch will be limited to thirty minutes, which is not counted as part of their work day. The business people will be permitted to use a student restroom, as long as another survival candidate can supervise their class.

If the copier is operable, they may make copies of necessary materials before, or after, school. However, they cannot surpass their monthly limit of copies. The business people must continually advance their education, at their expense, and on their own time.

The winner of this Season of Survivor will be allowed to return to their job.

3 comments:

Kevin Scheunemann said...

Is this how you view public education?

Being trapped on an island, hoping to survive?

My kids attend a private Christian Day School and its not at all like that. Kids are inspired and teachers are empowered. Test scores are high.

Perhaps you need to re-evaluate the public education system completely, if it makes you and other teachers feel like you are trapped on an island.

This is why I advocate school choice. I'd would never want my kids to attend a school where staff feels like they are trapped on an island.

I'll pray you will acquire some inspiration for the children, rather than viewing it as being trapped on an island with the kids.

I'll also be inspired, if you have the courage to post this.

Mpeterson said...

Your kids attend a Christian School?

You don't want them to share your values?

Kevin Scheunemann said...

You seem to be misguided about my values.

You dodged the question: Why do feel like teaching, in the public education field, is like being trapped on an island on Survivor?

I know you were trying to claim Capitalists can't handle the situation...but the point is: THE EDUCATION ESTABLISHMENT WILL NOT LET THAT OCCUR! (School Choice) To top it off, you reveal the education establishment detests children and the current public education structure with this post. Your feeling of being a prisoner, or being trapped by the public education system is fascinating. But yet, you defend the very establishment (unions) that oppose real education reform to untrap you from the system..

I'm not only surprised you posted my comment, I'm surprised you did not take this blog post down completely, it reveals more about educator's attitude than all the government studies of public education combined!

Is it OK if I send your blog post to CATO?